Exactly one year ago, I felt pain. No one told me it would hurt so much. No one told me that it would completely change me. No, I'm not talking about labor. I'm talking about what my heart felt that evening at 6:5opm... A love so great that it caused my heart to physically hurt because it had never been filled with joy like this. While most new mothers are counting their babies fingers and toes, I was looking through her eyes into her soul. I remember thinking, "I get it. I understand why God loves us so much..." Or, at least, I had a small understanding of God's love.
No one told me a year later, that I would love her even more than the first time I looked into those eyes. No one told me that my heart would still ache from this love. No one told me that the best part of my day would be walking into her room and seeing her smile...and knowing that God had granted me another day with her.
One year ago...
And today...
My heart...
so much more than I deserve...
Dear Ella,
I could try and explain it, but you wouldn't believe me...but, one day, you will. You have changed me. You have filled me with joy that I did not have...a joy I didn't even know was missing. For you, my daughter, I prayed! Happy First Birthday!
Mommy
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