I never thought I would long for the day that I would get big with stretch marks. I pray that I will indeed have sleepless nights. I pray that when I go to sleep at night this Fall, that I will be kissing three sets of cheeks as they all settle in for bed. I pray that at Christmas this year, there will 5 stockings, and not just 3. I pray that I will be exhausted and wondering how I'm going to make it through another day on little sleep...because if that happens, it means my three children are at home with their mommy and daddy.
But, at this point, there is much to be fearful of, but also much to be hopeful for.
My cervix has gotten a little worse. My contractions have not stopped. And although we know that keeping these babies inside until the Fall is very unlikely, there is much reason to hope that we might can make it 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks would give our babies a chance at life.
It will be a fight. A fight that includes a 24 hour pump for contractions and will ultimately put me in the hospital in a couple more weeks for the remainder of the pregnancy. It will include me only getting up to go to the bathroom. It includes a lot of not so pleasant side effects from medicine.
But I can do it. I can't do it on my own though. I can only do it with prayer and strength from God.
And so we wait...
And we will fight until it's over.