Yesterday was my birthday. My 32nd to be exact, but that does not really matter in thick of the story except to point out that it wasn't a "big" birthday. I had my "big" 30th two years ago where I was more than shocked at my husbands ability to throw me a surprise birthday party without me having even the vaguest clue. Lucky for him, my 30th (on the 30th) happened to fall on a weekend that year which made it even easier to pull one over on me. He (and my family and friends...who are really ALL my family, just not all blood related) made me feel so special that night that I honestly haven't felt the need for another birthday since. We now jokingly call it my "going on bed rest" party because I was pregnant with the twins at the time and it was shortly before that pregnancy started going down hill.
I digress.
When Andrew told he had to go on a day trip with work and wasn't sure what time he would be home yesterday, I really didn't mind. In fact, he thought it was strange that I really did not mind. But in all honesty, my love cup is still full from that party two years ago...but, don't tell him...he may never buy me a present again! Anyway, I just planned my day like normal. We were invited to a friends house to play which was perfect because I did not have to spend my day alone. And by alone, I mean chasing 3 children by myself. And thanks to facebook, everyone always knows when it is your birthday (which I secretly love when it is my turn!). So, although I never mentioned it to my friend, she had a special birthday cake and all the kids sang. It was awesome!! Seriously, children make birthdays wonderful because they love them. They don't care whose birthday it is...they just love all that it involves! Another birthday that I will always remember!
So after a wonderful day (the kids were really good that day), today I woke up to the twins being possessed by poltergeists or something. They were completely out of control. Some of you have already heard this story, but it started with acting like a bunch of crazy monkeys at my dermatologist appointment. I was THAT mom who looked like she didn't have any control over her kids. I was trying really hard, but someone asked me to sign a paper and I took my eyes off them for a second...and well, Jacob pulled every magazine off the rack and pulled half a box of tissues out of a kleenex box in one nano second. In my moment of trying to put everything back in its place, Ella announces to the entire waiting room "MOMMY!! Audrey has a REALLY STINKY diaper!!! Smell it!!!"
Thanks Ella. At least someone is on top of it all.
Anyway, we made it out of there in one piece and Jacob screamed the entire way home (just because). As I was making lunch in kitchen, the twins went upstairs to "play". Now, maybe I am naive for being so trusting. But there is no way to contain them downstairs. The downstairs is completely open (no doors between rooms...except the pantry and half bath) and the gates on the stairs were removed a long time ago because they were climbing over them. Anyway, I preface that because there is only so much I can control. However, for the most part, they are good about playing with the various toys in their rooms and there is not much they can get into.
Except that I was very, very wrong about that last part on this particular day.
Today, they decided to empty a box of about 20 tampons, unwrap most of them, and threw them all in the toilet. When I caught them, they were stirring them around like spoons. Some were wet and on the floor. There was also a whole wet roll of toilet paper that they had obviously stuck in there and then threw on the floor.
That is all I have to say about that.
While I was cleaning that up, they went in Ella's room and used her baby doll high chair as a ladder to climb on her dresser and eat smiley face stickers (the kind you can reapply over and over on chore charts). Although they did not swallow any (at least I don't think) they did manage to suck all the color off the faces only leaving clear plastic...well nothing. I thought the worst was over. hahaha...silly mommy. The day wasn't even half over.
I'll spare you all the details, but Jacob used a chair to climb on Ella's dresser and broke her nutcracker snowglobe into a million pieces...glitter, glass, and water everywhere. There is more to this day, but does it really matter at this point? And then the doorbell rings...
Although I normally play it cool and act like I'm not home (sorry, I get nervous at unexpected visitors), Ella had already run to the door (but didn't open it) and yelled "MOMMY!!! The mail lady is here!!!"
The mail lady? Don't they usually just drop the package at the door and leave? I am very puzzled at this point. So, thanks to Ella, I feel obligated to now go answer the door. She said she had a certified letter for me that required a signature. I have a moment of panic thinking "holy crap, am I getting called to court or something? This can't be good". I must have stood there in denial for a few moments because she gave me a funny look and said "Um...you need to sign here." Still hesitant, I glance at the small letter in her hand and it is addressed in the loveliest penmanship and had a return address sticker with high heels on the envelope, so I figured it must be safe". I sign on the dotted line and the mail lady quickly runs away as I stand there with a still very puzzled look on my face. Don't ask me what I would have done had it not been for the high heels...refused to sign?
The question remained, who would send me a certified letter? I see the name on the return address and smile...knowing it could only be something very sweet coming from this lovely lady. I'm still completely baffled why a letter from a friend would need a signature upon receiving it. Knowing how lovely she is, I figured she must have just really wanted to be sure I got this card (I was guessing a birthday card at this point).
I pull out the letter written on beautiful stationary, yet as I am opening it, something falls to the floor. As I look down, I am sure my eyes were as wide as an ocean and I quickly got weak in the knees and had to sit down.
(To Be continued)
