Friday, January 28, 2011

Preguntas Part Uno

You all asked some great questions. I'm breaking it down into a couple posts so that it isn't so overwhelming to read. I promise I'll answer every single question. So, if you don't see yours answered below, stayed tuned for part dos!  Let's start with the easier ones.

1. Lori asked: What's your favorite time of the day and what is your least favorite time of the day with your 3 babies?

Well, my least favorite time of day is definitely from 4:30-6:30pm. Naps are over, I'm trying to get dinner ready, and everyone is super crabby despite the fact that they took naps. Actually, just Ella and Jacob are crabby. Audrey is always pretty happy. Also, anytime I have to feed the babies is hard because of the amount of time it takes and Ella starts to get a little impatient after about 10 minutes. With your first baby, feeding time can be really special and bonding. For me, it is crazy because I have a 2 year old who also needs mommy. I do my best to give her an activity to do before I feed the babies; but, let's face it...she is 2 and she wants my attention just as much as they do. So, that is hard for me.

My favorite time of day is for sure 8pm. Everyone is bathed, fed, happy and Andrew is home to help! We all usually hang out in our bedroom and watch a little cartoon and just snuggle in bed. But really, anytime that isn't feeding time is pretty good. I love taking Ella outside (and taking the monitor with me!) to play when the twins nap. It puts both of us in a better mood when we can run around and get some sunshine!

2. Amy asked:  when do YOU sleep?

This has gotten SO much better! The first 6-8 weeks were really hard and I felt like I was a zombie. However, Andrew had a number of random days off because of the holidays, so we would catch up then. Plus, his family was in town from Florida a good bit during that time, so that helped. But those first 2 months are always hard because you are trying to establish a difference between day and night with your babies and they want to eat every 2 hours at first.
But, now, we have a great routine going. My husband goes to bed at 10:30pm and I stay up until midnight and feed the babies between 11:45-12:20 and go to bed after that. He gets up with the babies usually around 4 or 4:30am and feeds them both at the same time by sticking them on a boppy pillow. He can feed them within 30 minutes and goes back to bed until 6am (and leaves for work at 6:45am).  The kids and I are all usually up around 7:15ish. So, I actually get close to 7 hours of sleep a night and so does Andrew! By the way, Andrew like just going to bed early and getting up for 30 minutes. I am constantly asking him if this is working for him and he says it is perfect because he gets around 6 hours uninterrupted and then gets another 1.5 hours after feeding. I am a night owl, so I love staying up a little later and having some me/alone time to read. So, we DO get sleep. The babies are REALLY good about going back to sleep after being fed at night, so that is not an issue. I feed them every 3-3.5 hours during the day, then they can go about 4 hours at night.

3. Amy asked: how in the world do you look so good after having twins? :)

This made me giggle! Girl, you are crazy, because I really don't!! I still need to lose 15 pounds...which is only going to happen if I start exercising again. I did finally start exercising a couple days ago (15 minutes of yoga in the morning and 12-20 minute run/walk at night after the kids are in bed). Haven't you noticed I always have a coat on in every picture or that it is only from the waist up? There is a reason for that. And yes, I am so completely vain that I will never post a picture without makeup. I don't wear makeup much during the week, but I certainly won't post it to the world to see...pasty white skin, dark circles, isn't pretty! Ha!

4. Amy asked: do you think having twins would have been easier/harder if they were your first babies or do you think it made a difference having Ella first? (besides the obvious tough times of having to leave Ella when you were in the hospital)

This is a really good question. Overall I'd say it is much easier to have already had a baby already!!!! This is great news for those of you with one baby and expecting another! 
One of the hardest things about becoming a mom is that, no matter how many books you read, it just doesn't prepare you for how you are going to feel. You feel completely inadequate and unconfident as a new mom. Everyone gives you advice that is the opposite of the person the day before and it just leaves you feeling stressed. Plus, your body is not used to the lack of sleep. AND, you are in this phase of "giving up your old life." You are trying to figure out who you are and how to do the parenting thing.
When you have a another baby (or two more in my case), you are SO much more confident in yourself. The lack of sleep with a newborn(s) is ok because you know that it won't last long. Overall, with everything that is stressful, you know in your heart that it will get better and that makes your stress level so much less. 
For example, you know the first 6 weeks are going to suck. Let's just face it: THE FIRST COUPLE MONTHS are not fun. (And as a first time mom, I'd even venture to say the first 6 months are overrated.) But, I have really embraced the newborn phase this time around...because I know it will be over soon. I constantly find myself just breathing them in and just snuggling with them as much as I can. I don't mind holding them and carrying them around because I know in a few more months they are going to be crawling and not want me quite as much.
So, although it was a huge adjustment to figure out how to divide my time between Ella and the babies, it is so much easier because I know who I am as a mother and am confident in myself. I don't feel this need to compare them to what other babies their age are doing because I feel like I am doing what I feel is best for them. Some people swear by Babywise and other methods...and those are some good tips...but, I don't feel like if my babies aren't sleeping through the night at exactly 3 months, then I'm doing something wrong. They will sleep all night eventually. At some point, I may decide that it is time to start letting them cry a little bit. But, I don't feel like I need a book (like I did with Ella) to tell me when to do this. I'll start stretching them out more when I start to feel like they are only waking out of habit (which is going to be very soon for Jacob since he isn't eating well at night...see, I'm listening to my kids this time and not a book). SO MUCH EASIER!

Anyway, that's enough for now! I'll answer the others later today! I hope I didn't offend any of you who are first time parents or are doing Babywise, etc. I was TOTALLY that mom with Ella. But, I was also a lot more stressed (personally) because of it. So, this time, I'm doing Sarahwise...because I feel like I know best.


Meghan said...

Love your blog! And I love that you are following "Sarahwise," hahaha. That is really great advice, and that's what I've been trying to do with my first (he's four months old). I read a TON of parenting stuff before he was born, confused the heck out of myself, and now I'm just following my instincts.

P.S. Your kids are beautiful!!

Kendra said...

I LOVE your answer to the last question. You nailed new motherhood perfectly, at least in my case. =)

Linda said...

Sarah! Reading your thoughts on having twins after having one has brought so much peace to my heart! For some reason, I've been thinking ahead to the future and doing IVF again and trying to imagine what it would be like if I had twins. For the past few months, it has scared me to death! But you are so right about how you gain confidence as a mother! That first month with Jaden was rough for me and I didn't know what I was doing. But just three months later, I feel sooo much more confident. So perhaps I shouldn't worry about the possibility of having twins and whether or not I could candle it! I guess we will see what the Lord has in store for us! Come what may and love it! :-)