Thursday, February 24, 2011

Coexisting with your kids

Are you soaking in your kids or just coexisting with them?

I have three kids under three. No doubt, this is a hard and busy season of my life. I constantly wonder how some women do it know, work outside the home, go to the gym 4-5 days a week, eat healthy meals, spend time with their husbands, feed their minds with good literature, clean, etc. They seem to have time to go out on the weekends, etc. In my house, I define a productive day as every getting dressed, fed well, and quality/hands on time spent with all my little tykes and my sweet love, Andrew. A good weekend is having all the laundry done and lots of outdoor playing. 

I don't know their secrets. But, perhaps it isn't a secret at all. 

Something in that picture is being sacrificed. I call them the know, they see their kids for one hour a day. Literally. (And this has nothing to do with working moms. I know plenty of working moms who spend good, quality time with their kids) They pawn them off on anyone they can, so that they can take care of number one: themselves. They love the idea of having a child, but not the hard work that comes with it. They are all about the pretty pictures on the walls. 

I say this so that mommies will stop being so hard on themselves...mommies who get so mad at themselves because they can't do all these things that they THINK others are able to.

When you choose to be a hands on mom and truly soak in your little ones, you can't have it all. You just can't. You have to choose what kind of mom you want to be. Do you want to soak in every moment or just coexist?

Let me tell you something. Let me describe for you the mom that admire...and it isn't the one who goes to the gym 5 days a week and out on dates every weekend. I admire the mom who rather than tries to have her house dust free, she is laying on the playmat next to her babies cooing and snuggling with them. I admire the mom, who rather than hurrying her child to bed so she can watch her 8pm shows, reads just one more book to her child. I admire the mom who is ok with her exercise being playing outside for her kids that day...kicking balls, running in the yard, and pulling them in the wagon. 

So, if you feel like you struggle to "get anything done" during the are not alone. And chances are, I admire you...because you probably didn't "get anything done" because you were so busy shaping little hearts and minds. You were probably wiping tears and giving hugs. 

And that is way better than having 6 pack abs.  


Katie said...

I could not agree more. My kids are way more important that my 6 pack abs. I haven't seen them since I got pregnant the first time any way and I really don't miss them too much. I would miss my kids WAY more! The mom's who have the perfect house, are not the "perfect mom." Or at least that is what I tell my self when my laundry hasn't been touched in a week and my kitchen floor has a layer of yuck on it. Ha! But really, I think it is true :)

Mrs. Mama said...

LOVED this post! so beautifully written as well. And I couldn't agree with you more... I especially loved the part about the moms that just want to the pretty pictures on the walls. So true.

Kellie Collis said...

Very well said! I admire you! Have a gorgeous weekend, Kellie xx

Andrea said...

Hello :)

I just found your blog through Jennifer's and what a blessing! Congratulations on all of your Miracle Babies, as they truly are gifts from GOD. We are currently awaiting the arrival of our miracle in just 9 weeks.

Reading your post brought me to tears and reassured me that I WILL get it all done. And how important it is to celebrate the SMALL things.

I look forward to reading more here :)


Linda said...

What a wonderful perspective!! I'm so grateful we can soak up every moment with our babies because they won't be babies forever. A lady from my church wrote a poem that I think has some of the same ideas you spoke of... I want to share it with you.
"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Robin said...

Good! Makes me feel better since all I've managed to accomplish today is finishing a blog post I started yesterday and catching up on my blog reading. Although I have a happy baby who went down for her nap without much of a fight. AND I did take a shower and wash my hair. I squeezed in some weight lifting using my 19 pound daughter as the free-weight. She loves it. And squats! She loves doing those with mommy too. :-)

Kate Clower said...

I LOVE this post and could not agree more. As a working {outside the home} mom - my time with my little one has taken on value that is absolutely priceless.

Momma Wilson said...

what a beautiful post. I hate so much working full time, but I love that it makes me soak up every minute with my son when we're together. One more hug, one more kiss, and one more book is way more important than being on time to work or having the laundry done. It's a conscious decision you have to make, but if you don't life passes you by too fast!

Tabitha said...


Aponte family said...

Thank Sarah, I needed this and wonderfully put. My house is far from perfect and I get stressed out about it after I have worked all day and took care of my boys. It's a nice reminder to not worry so much about it b/c my boys are happily snuggling with their mommy on the couch for one more book and maybe a cookie.

Anonymous said...

your twins are PRECIOUS! what a blessing. and that cake idea is so cute. i wish i would have thought of something cute like that when mine was 6 mons (just two months ago). thanks for sharing.

New Every Morning said...

This is SUCH a great post. One of the best pieces of advice for any mom of any age.

Every once in a while I find myself of the slippery slope toward coexisting. But I want to soak up every possible moment. It doesn't last forever, but my memories of this time (well spent) will.

Big hugs, sweet momma!