Coexisting with your kids

Are you soaking in your kids or just coexisting with them?

I have three kids under three. No doubt, this is a hard and busy season of my life. I constantly wonder how some women do it all...you know, work outside the home, go to the gym 4-5 days a week, eat healthy meals, spend time with their husbands, feed their minds with good literature, clean, etc. They seem to have time to go out on the weekends, etc. In my house, I define a productive day as every getting dressed, fed well, and quality/hands on time spent with all my little tykes and my sweet love, Andrew. A good weekend is having all the laundry done and lots of outdoor playing. 

I don't know their secrets. But, perhaps it isn't a secret at all. 

Something in that picture is being sacrificed. I call them the coexisters...you know, they see their kids for one hour a day. Literally. (And this has nothing to do with working moms. I know plenty of working moms who spend good, quality time with their kids) They pawn them off on anyone they can, so that they can take care of number one: themselves. They love the idea of having a child, but not the hard work that comes with it. They are all about the pretty pictures on the walls. 

I say this so that mommies will stop being so hard on themselves...mommies who get so mad at themselves because they can't do all these things that they THINK others are able to.

When you choose to be a hands on mom and truly soak in your little ones, you can't have it all. You just can't. You have to choose what kind of mom you want to be. Do you want to soak in every moment or just coexist?

Let me tell you something. Let me describe for you the mom that admire...and it isn't the one who goes to the gym 5 days a week and out on dates every weekend. I admire the mom who rather than tries to have her house dust free, she is laying on the playmat next to her babies cooing and snuggling with them. I admire the mom, who rather than hurrying her child to bed so she can watch her 8pm shows, reads just one more book to her child. I admire the mom who is ok with her exercise being playing outside for her kids that day...kicking balls, running in the yard, and pulling them in the wagon. 

So, if you feel like you struggle to "get anything done" during the day...you are not alone. And chances are, I admire you...because you probably didn't "get anything done" because you were so busy shaping little hearts and minds. You were probably wiping tears and giving hugs. 

And that is way better than having 6 pack abs.