There is this thing that happens to many stay at home mothers. Although we love our children with every ounce of our hearts, many of us still seek an outlet to either utilize our intellect or stimulate our minds. There is this moment in many of us where we all of a sudden realize that just because we are mothers does not mean our dreams die. My biggest dream has always been to be a mother. I talked about becoming a mother since I was probably Ella's age.
And my children still are my greatest desire (besides God and my husband). They are the future. After all, raising warriors for Jesus is no easy task. I take this role of mother very seriously. I know I am caring for God's greatest treasures.
However, my dreams, desires, and interests did not go away when I added the title of mother to my resume. My name is still Sarah...I'm not just mom. For awhile, God sprung this interest and passion for photography into my life right after Ella was born. It has been an amazing creative outlet for me and something that has brought joy to my life. I am so thankful to Him for showing me this interest. It was never anything I intentionally pursued. It just happened. I do not currently have any intentions of marketing myself and growing a large business at this time. But, nevertheless, it has been a blessing for us financially.
I have other dreams too. It is no secret that I adore Paris. I may talk about it more than anyone else I know. I may be slightly obsessed. So, it should not be any shock that I have this dream of studying at Le Cordon Bleu. And although they have a campus in Atlanta, for some reason that just isn't as appealing as learning to cook in the City of Light. This dream is on hold for at least the next 25 years (it's just a tad expensive...and a tad far away). I have no desire to open a restaurant or bakery...only to learn the French way of cooking. This is why I currently have 5 cookbooks full of the most decadent recipes from my favorite city. I figure if I can't go to Paris, well I will just have to bring Paris to me. My family has been VERY well fed the past few months. I may not look like Giada DeLaurentis, but I'm pretty sure I can cook almost as good as her now. Cooking has become my passion and outlet during this season of life where I spend so much time at home. And again, I am so grateful for God showing me things that can bring me joy in my day to day life that can start to sometimes feel a little mundane and lonely.
Our dreams are why so many mothers blog. It is why so many have discovered a passion for writing. It is a creative outlet for us to share.
I never started a blog because I considered myself a writer. I do not have an English degree and I certainly have less than perfect grammar. I overuse commas and ellipses. Heck, I'm not even sure I know the proper way to use an ellipses! I don't proof read my posts. I rarely even use the spell check function.
I am not a writer. But, recently, I feel led to write. And I don't necessarily mean about the crazy stuff Ella says. But, to write about things in my spiritual life. Which is terrifying because I do NOT feel qualified and I do not have a degree in theology. When people talk about Calvinism and Arminism, I usually start to get indigestion and run the other direction. I usually see two sides of the coin on that one. I plead the fifth so to speak.
But, I love talking with people about theology. I love talking about our struggles with faith. It's a hard world to even bring up the subject of faith in. People basically think you have shot a dagger in their eye if you even mention the name Jesus. Why? Why are we so scared? Why are we scared to talk about our doubts?
Yesterday, in a moment with God, I found myself picking up my laptop and writing the name to a new blog title: Seven Days of Grace. http://sevendaysofgrace.blogspot.com
I don't even know where that came from. My fingers typed it, blogger accepted it and now it is part of the web. I wrote 4 posts very quickly. But, I didn't post them.
Because I'm not a writer.
But for some reason, I want to write. Am I having a mommy mid-life crisis?
I am not a writer. I am not an expert theologian. I don't know all the answers. But, I know a lot about grace. I receive grace every day. It pours over me hourly.
And if you are going to write, you should write about what you know.
So here I am. Maybe if you check back later, you will see a new blog, with a new title, although the same voice that you find here. You can find me over at: http://sevendaysofgrace.blogspot.com
That's only if I ever decide to push the publish button...