What if we treated every day like Christmas?

The sick, the childless, the motherless, the fatherless. The poor, the unemployed, the ones who feel hopeless. The infertile, the brokenhearted.

Parents burying children. Children who are hurt and abused by their parents. Women and men who would give anything just to have one child to love.

The hungry, the thirsty, the impoverished.

So many hurting souls. So, so many who cry more than they smile.

The radio stations buzz with calls coming in to help the needy. Churches are flooded with toys and food for those without. Our hearts feel so full and blessed by the giving we do at Christmas time. Tis the season for giving, right?

And Christmas comes and goes. The radio stops it petition for giving and people quickly lose that desire to help those who are less fortunate...and I don't just mean the poor. I mean those who are deeply grieving...those who are heartbroken and feel hopeless. We may continue to count our blessings, but how quickly we forget to reach our arms out to those who are in anguish.

I feel so sad in the car. Listening to all these heart breaking stories...knowing that we are barely even getting a glimpse into the worlds suffering. Sad...because I know come January that most of these "Christmas wishes"  will all be pushed away.

Why do our hearts stop the day after Christmas? Why do we give less? Why don't we give sacrificially year around?

Jesus didn't have to come and save us. He could have just left us here. Left us without any hope.

But, He didn't do that. He came not because of who we are...but because of who He is. Because He loves us that much. Because He wanted us to be with Him forever in eternity. Because He knew before He created you that He wanted you...for forever.

If we are to be Jesus...to be the light in this dark world...then we can't leave those who are brokenhearted on their own.

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)

So when the Christmas music stops and we stop hearing the cries for help on the radio, let us not close our ears and eyes and hearts to the reality of this hurting world. A world that is desperately in need of a hope that can only come from the Savior. A world that we forget in our glorification of busyness.

Because He doesn't just show up in our lives around the holidays. He is still here. If you want Him.

Let Him continue to show you how He can use you in this hurting world...how you can be a light for Him. 

...and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us."

Matthew 1:23 

Thank you Jesus. Because of you we are never without hope. Hallelujah. 

 

The joy of having two sisters

Poor Jacob.

He is all boy and loves his trains and running and jumping. At the mere age of 2 years old, he already thinks burping is funny. His natural instinct is to push, shove, and hit...something we are not proud of and trying hard to stop...but, he is a boy. And boys naturally get these surges of testosterone.

However, when you are surrounded by ladies all day long, it's only natural that the boy gets a bit confused about his man card.

And when I was painting the girls nails the other day, he pitched a fit when I wouldn't paint his too. I had to draw the line on that one.

Oh Jacob. You do make an awfully cute Snow White.

I will always remember

People often say "I remember exactly where I was when..." when reminiscing on something tragic that happened in the world. I can remember where I was when the beautiful Princess Diana died. And of course I can remember exactly what I was doing on September 11th...just like it was yesterday.

Bad things happen all the time, all over the world. Most of the time, we are probably so completely unaware of most of this evil. We know it exists, but I don't think we know just how prevalent it truly is.

On Friday, my husband and I planned a 1/2 day family day. Of all the mornings, we chose December 14th to meet up for a few hours in the middle of his work day to take the kids to ride the Pink Pig (it's an Atlanta thing), see Santa, and have lunch together. We even ventured in a couple shops. We took pictures and laughed as the kids high fived Santa and wore their reindeer hats he gave them. Completely oblivious to what was going in the world at that moment, we had a very rare week day outing as a family. It was one of the best mornings I've had in awhile...morning where I actually just got to enjoy my sweet, precious little ones.

But, forever, my heart will think of this day differently when I look at the pictures below. Below is the picture of a family who was all together and enjoying the blessings that God has given us...each other. It is a picture of girl's dream to have a family of her own...and now she does. It is a picture of a dream come true.

But, now, I look at this picture and will always remember that at the moment this photograph was taken, too many innocent children were taken away from their mommies and daddies too soon. And my heart...oh how it aches for those families. Had those children gotten a picture with Santa this year? Did their mommies and daddies already have their gifts wrapped under the trees? Did those mommies and daddies have special days planned, like our day, full of Christmas activities for their little ones?

Last night, Andrew and I were putting together the Barbie house my parents got her for Christmas. She will be so excited to see it as it is one of only two things she has asked for (that and a Mermaid Barbie). The entire time we were assembling it my heart felt so conflicted...joy at how excited my girls will be to get this house...feeling blessed that my parents are always so generous...and then feeling the tears well up in my eyes while wondering if those mommies and daddies had toys already put together that they were so excited about giving their little ones.

To those little innocent children who are most definitely with our Lord and Savior, you will never be forgotten. For those mommies and daddies who will never fully heal and will always grieve this absolute nightmare, you must know that we will never forget you. We will never stop praying for you. And when I look back on this picture when I am old and grey, I will remember you and your little ones.

Our God is good. Our God is faithful. I do not understand His ways or why He allows such horrific things to happen...but, I know that He is the only one who can give these families strength to live.

"Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world."

via 

We will always remember this day. God heal the broken hearts. God, make your presence known to these families. And Lord, please show us how to pray for them and how we can be of service to during the wake of this tragic day.

Pursuit of Happiness

In the midst of what can often be a very monotonious job, I often find myself looking and searching for things to bring me joy and happiness. It's a terrible cycle that I think many stay at home mother's find themselves facing...we start feeling like the job of caring for children and our families is not enough. We feel like we should be doing more to contribute to the "status quo" if you will. My husband often teases me as I often come up with these grandiose ideas of something I am going to do...knowing good and well that my follow through is usually lacking. I've said it before and I'll say it again, being a college educated and career person and then becoming a stay at home mom has been humbling for me and a hard transition. My children were obviously very wanted and very planned, but I realized how much of my self esteem came from my career. So, the question is, how do I completely embrace and soak in this time with my kids...how do I find complete satisfaction with feeding, diapering, and wiping away tears?

That joy is right here. It is right in front of my face but I am constantly looking else where to fill that loneliness that I often have. It's my own internal battle of feeling like being a mom is not enough...that simply feeding, diapering, holding, and comforting my children is not enough. When did we, as women, start feeling like unless we are doing a daily craft and drilling the ABC's, that we are not doing enough?

But, this weekend, I had a sort of epiphany. It came at a completely unexpected time. It came when I took my children over to my parents house one afternoon for a visit and then took them outside for a little photo shoot. My parents have a large, woodsy outdoor space...perfect for little people to run around and explore. I grabbed my camera and decided just to follow them around catching the funny things they do. And they played. And I watched...partly through a little view finder window, but nevertheless, I watched.

I watched as they tumbled down an over grown grassy hill...laughing hysterically as they flipped and rolled...completely covered in grass. I watched as they took two pumpkins and used them as bowling pins...giggling as they watched them crash into a tree. I watched them throw leaves, fight over a tricycle, and dig in the dirt with a fallen tree branch. 

I found joy for a moment because I stopped trying so hard to be super mom and just let me kids be kids. I didn't have laundry or dishes to do because I wasn't at my house. And it dawned on me that every time my kids are playing well, that is when I seize the opportunity to clean and "be productive"...you know, so I can earn my keep for the day.

I realized that in my pursuit of happiness, that happiness is already here. It's right in front of me. But, I'm so busy proving to world how awesome of a mom and housekeeper I am that I don't even enjoy the gifts God has given me.

As 2012 comes to a close and I reflect on my desires for 2013, I am simply desiring to find happiness in my life right now...not in life once my kids are potty trained, not in the hope that things will get easier, but happiness in right now. It means that Thomas trains and Barbies will be everywhere and that's ok. It's ok because it means I wasn't constantly running behind them picking up messes...instead I was laughing with them while they made the mess. It means when my girls are dancing to the Nutcracker, I'm going to stop and watch...not use that time to empty the dishwasher.

I don't need to pursue happiness...happiness is already here. So when you come to see me in 2013, you'll have to excuse the mess. We're making memories...and I don't want to miss them.

*Editors note: Could these kids be any cuter? I am so, so blessed. What did I do to deserve such goodness? I so don't deserve so much goodness....but, thank you Jesus for it!

I'll never stop saying thank you

How easy it is to feel overwhelmed with the day to day life and get in the habit of pity parties. How easy it is to forget all that God has given us. How quickly we forget how much He has done when we get caught up in the American attitude of "we deserve."

But our Jesus is so merciful and forgiving. He knows our hearts can be filthy, but He still sees beauty. He created us for a purpose. He designed us before we were ever even conceived in our mother's womb. Sometimes I wonder what He was thinking...wanting us.

There are days where my heart is so full of self-pity...days where I feel the overwhelming frustration of having a house on the market for almost 2 years...days where I feel tired and exhausted because my husband is gone 12 hours a day, 5 days a week to provide for our family...days where I feel ungrateful that that money he makes is stretched so thin.

And then I look at these pictures of my kids. Two short years ago, we did not even know if they would live. One year ago, we didn't know if Audrey would ever walk very well. Two years ago, we saw God's mercy in the greatest way.

So, every year on Thanksgiving, I reflect on how this time in 2008, I held two tiny bodies in my arms and prayed for God's mercy. And now I see them running, talking, laughing...thriving!!! And my heart begs for forgiveness for my ungratefulness.

How many times can I say thank you?

Looking at these pictures, I'd say I can never say thank you enough...to God and to all who prayed for us and these children. 

Happy Thanksgiving my friends. Thank you for loving me despite my ugliness and filth. Thank you for loving me through the good and the bad. Thank you for listening to my heart and not judging me. Thank you for helping me to continue to grow closer to Christ and for being patient and compassionate when I mess up. Thank you for being Jesus to me. May you have a day filled with Thankfulness. May you reflect and see all that God has truly done for us. And despite our challenges and struggles, that He continues to be faithful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Dallas Cow Girl

Besides taking pictures of one of my nearest and dearest friends in Dallas last weekend, I also ate really, really well. You have not had real tex-mex unless you've been to the heart of Texas. We also ate at this fun and fabulous place called "Breadwinners"...oh my gosh...Eggs Benedict on a french croissant...I inhaled that dish!  I'd have to start exercising if I lived in Dallas...my friend fed me well!

Although I did not partake in any shopping on this trip, let me tell you...if you want to shop, Dallas has it all...and by all, I mean on every street corner there is a fancy schmansy mall.

Of course, you also find random fields with barrels of hay amidst this fabulous town:

What do you think? Do I look the part?

Yes, that is a piece of hay in my mouth. I like to embarrass myself as often as possible.

I'm officially adding Dallas to my "maybe live in the future" places.

A Texas Beauty

My husband recently gave me the greatest gift ever...a plane ticket to go visit one of my absolute dearest friends in the world. I was totally blown away when he told me the news. The added bonus is that my friend is 35 weeks pregnant, so I got to give her a gift as well: a maternity photo shoot.

It was the greatest weekend I've had in a long time. She is a dear sister in Christ and we stayed up late all 3 nights just gabbing away. I love that I got to see her during a very special time in her life. This baby girl has been covered in prayer and her name sums it up: Grace.

Here are a few shots from our weekend together. She is seriously one of the most beautiful pregnant women ever.

Spending time with a friend in deep fellowship...sharing our deepest fears, our passions, our  desires...is like therapy for the soul. It is a taste of Heaven. I am so thankful for those that have seen me at my worst and continue to love me anyway. Thank you Lord for the women you put in my life!