Monday, October 25, 2010


SOOC is an acronym we use in photography that stands for "straight out of camera." In other words, a picture that has not been photoshopped or changed. (And no, this isn't a post about photography...just read on).

I've been thinking a lot about the image and face I put on when I walk out the door versus the real me that you see behind closed doors. You see, when we walk out the door in the mornings and go to our mommy groups, preschools, or even a traditional job, we don't give people the SOOC version of ourselves. We put on our pretty faces of makeup and smile and talk about how fabulous our kids are. We don't talk about the fact that we screamed at our kids that morning, forgot to put on deodorant, and kicked the cat.

See the picture below? Yes, it's beautiful and bright and cheery.

But, what you don't realize is that before I brightened it up, it looked like this:

Dark. Dreary. Very Flawed. This is reality. We are very flawed, yet we continue to photoshop our lives to make it look like we have it all together.

Let me be the first to tell you that I do not have it all together. If you were to look at my life SOOC, you would see a woman who has many struggles. I am full of insecurities. Even when I am on a spiritual high and really seeking God, the enemy continues to feed me lies that I will never be good enough. God has to remind me daily that although I am a loser, that is why He extended us GRACE. Grace means I don't have to earn anything. Yet, I continue to look at other woman who I think are so amazing spiritually and think I can never be as good as them. It's a difficult life when you are always putting others on pedastals.

My SOOC personality is one hates what she looks like (may seem strange to you...but, I see the face behind the makeup). If you looked at my SOOC, you'd see someone who frequently loses her cool and yells at her child, who sometimes spanks out of anger, and someone who sometimes puts ludicrous things above spending time with my precious child.

You would see someone who at times undermines her husband, is NOT submissive to him, and forgets to lift him up with kind words. Instead of telling him all the many things he does right, I will lose my cool over the couple things that he doesn't. You would see someone who does a lot of taking, and not a lot of giving in her marriage.

You would see someone who listens to music she shouldn't, has words that come out of her mouth that shouldn't, and has been materialistic. You see, I use to think that since I worked really hard, I DESERVED things. This is the lie that the enemy feeds us...and the lie that society gives us as well.

You see, I have a face with acne and wrinkles and a heart with too much pride and snobbery.

But, I don't want to be her anymore. I want my SOOC self to be the photoshop version that you see. I want that girl to be the real me. I want to be patient with my child and always put her above those "other things". I want to stop feeling like I deserve anything...because actually, what I deserve is eternal hell and damnation, right?

Thank you God for grace. And thank you God for continuing to work on me and breaking me. I am a work in progress. I am flawed...and I need grace.


keight dukes said...

love it! thanks for being brave and saying this stuff. more SOOC!

Tabitha said...

Oh I love this...I love the honesty and I love how I can relate to almost every single word that you said! (just not the part about children yet, but when this precious little one is born I'm sure I'll make the same mistakes, I'm a yeller) Thank you so much for showing us everything and sharing with us, we are ALL flawed! ALL OF US! But God loves us anyway, and you will be blessed for sharing!

Jess said...

Amen! Love this! I too have the acne, wrinkles, and pride...and gray hair! (I'm only 29, sheesh!)

Angela said...

I'm happy to read more of your heart. Although, I'd be thrilled to just read about your kiddos too!

Boy, am I tired of trying to look like I have it all together...when actually all I've been able to do this week is clean up puke! And when I do get to go out, I don't want people to get the wrong impression of me either, the one that looks put together and so do her 6 children! HA! Come over and read my post on a week of motherhood with the flu and how God is strectching my heart at the same time!

I can't wait to read more! It makes me feel like I'm not the only one! :)

The Del Angel Family said...

Love this post girl...way cool.

Wanting What I Have said...

I am right there with ya! Thanks for being willing to be so transparent.

Amy said...

So true! Thank God that he sees our SOOC selves and loves us anyway! This post was a blessing to me today and a total ENCOURAGEMENT to embrace my SOOC self! :)

Mary Beth said...

What an amazing post. Thank you for being honest. I have thought about this but never was able to put in such words. I can definitely relate!

Crystal said...

I feel like I just read what I've been wanting to do...let me open up to what He wants me to see and do, not what I want. Thank you for the honesty. Call me back!!!

Courtney said...

Awesome post! I so wish we lived closer. We could be such a great support system for each other right now. But, we'll just have to continue to be there through the internet. :-)

Missy said...

I am so pleased to read of how you are growing in Christ! You can do all those things with his help! Remember you are not alone! Romans 3:23!

Milam Family said...

Thanks for being so open!!!

Miss said...


great analogy...I am ALWAYS praying that God will allow me to be the sooc version of myself!