So, there is a song by Martina McBride that I listened to over and over again while I was pregnant...and cried everytime I listened to it! I've heard this song a million times before, but it seems so special now that I have a daughter. The lyrics perfectly describe how a mother feels about her child. One of my favorite lines is when she sings
"...but the truth is plain to see,
she was sent to rescue me,
I see who I want to be,
In my Daughter's Eyes."
What is it about having a child that makes you instantly see all your own flaws? Who would have thought that a two month old little girl, who cannot speak words, could teach me so much about the person I want to be. I think children make you want to be better because you know that they will imitate your behavior. Although we all have some genetic predispositions that influence our personality, I really believe that most of this is learned. It scares me to death to know that I am ultimately responsible for how my child acts and behaves...and that she depends on me to teach her how to be...and that most of this teaching will come from her imitating my behavior.
I pray several times a day for Ella. I pray that she grows into a kind and gentle woman...that she's always able to find the good in people. I pray that she embraces others differences and never makes fun of others because they look or act different. I pray that she has enough confidence to go after her dreams...but enough humility that she does not think too highly of herself. More than anything, I pray that she always has faith like a child...faith that God will always be with her. I pray that she seeks God's will for her life and not mine and Andrew's desires for her.
Oh, I have so much to learn! She makes me so happy.
~Sweet Ella, you will never know the positive impact you have had on my life. But as I look at you sleeping in your crib, I can't help but cry (again). I hope you know that I am not perfect, but I will do my very best to teach you about love, patience, kindness, and about the Lord. Knowing how much I love you gives me a little insight as to how much God must love us. One day, when you have your own child, you will understand my love for you. Love, Mommy~
"...In My Daughter's Eyes, I can see the future...a reflection of who I am and what will be. And though she'll grow and someday leave... maybe raise a family...when I'm gone I hope she sees how happy she's made..for I'll be there...in my Daughter's Eyes."-Martina McBride