Ballerina Girl

If there was an award for terrible blogger, I'm pretty sure I would win. It certainly isn't because of lack of material that I haven't blogged. These three little miracles that God has entrusted me with most certainly give me plenty to write about. There is NEVER a dull moment in this house. Having our house for sale with three little human tornadoes just makes my not so simple life even that more insane. I'm pretty sure if I didn't color my hair, that there would be some grey underneath. And although I put on a great facade that I have it all under control, I'm really not sure how everything gets done that needs to get done. What I do know is that I do little things all day long to stay on top of it all. I may not have time to put all the laundry away at once. But every morning,  a load is started and I put away a few items here and there throughout my day.

On top of my busy role of mother of three, I decided to become "mother of a child in extracurricular activities" as well...ballet and tap to be exact. It is well worth the insanity to get her there because she loves it that much. We are only two lessons in, but already I see many years of pink tights and black leotards in our future. Never have I seen a child so excited and so quick to leave my side as that first day she saw that ballet bar and mirror. That picture you above was taken within 2 seconds of us walking in the door...she decided she needed to go do a little warm up before her teacher arrived. No prompting, no bribing...just a little girl who seems to have been meant to be a prima ballerina.

And I'd be lying if I didn't say that I felt just slightly proud and excited about this new adventure for her! No worries...I will not become a crazy stage mom. Just a crazy picture taking lady!

Ballet and tap shoes are not the only new things in our house. A certain little man has acquired several new teeth. Jacob has a total of 8 teeth now...all within in a two month time frame. He has been a teething machine! And little Audrey...the girl has a head full of hair, but ZERO teeth. The girl likes to take her time on everything. She has only recently mastered the skill of turning over both ways. Meanwhile, her crazy twin brother is army crawling and pulling on any electrical cord he can find. His favorite game is to crawl under the bed or behind the curtains...pretty much any spot where I cannot find him. He is only making me slightly insane with this new trick. Both babies are sitting up pretty well.

We are also enjoying the weekends on this fabulous craftsmanship:

It is the only good thing about these sweltering summer days: the boat and the lake.

So, I just may get the award for worst blogger, you can see it is all for a good cause! We have been having lots of fun (and tantrums and timeouts...but, I've gotten good at ignoring those!).

Perhaps, I will get around to finishing those video posts...tonight perhaps? Which of course means next week...if you know me, I have lots of great ideas, but my execution can be a little lacking. I might just be slightly ADD.

That is all for now. The babies are napping and Ella and I are off to play fairies in the backyard...perhaps she can teach me how to do pirouettes and plies.

I know...

I know. I was on a roll with blogging more regularly and then...well, life just happened. By that, I just mean that it's warm outside and we've been playing hard. I've also been venturing out more with all three children and finally getting out of my baby blues that have lasted way too long. It has been a hard 9 months and all of a sudden I feel like I woke up and said "You know what? Everyone is going to be ok. WE are going to be ok. I can handle raising three little miracles. And yes, I can get out of the house by myself with all three children." So, I started living again and reconnecting with friends whom I haven't seen since the twins were born. I started being Sarah again. I even started doing a little photography again. I still have my days of feeling completely overwhelmed...days where I can barely even get everyone fed, much less do anything "fun". But, I'm getting there. I'm starting to feel like me again...and it feels really good.

Besides that, my mom was in a jet ski accident shortly after my last post. She is still in hospital, but doing ok. It's just going to be a long recovery. She has very severe osteoporosis, so the simple impact of falling into the water basically shattered her left leg. My dad was supposed to go out of the country tomorrow, but has since decided to cancel his trip. I was trying to find him some nursing help if he decided to leave, but it looks like that isn't an issue anymore.

I've also had two teething babies. Jacob is having a hard time with it. He has three teeth already. Audrey hasn't broken any yet, but the Pediatrician said any time now...he could feel them in the office.

So I am sorry about the unannounced hiatus. And sorry for leaving you hanging with the video posts. It's on my "to-do" list. So although I love all you who read my blog and have stuck with me, my days of playing Madeline dolls with Ella and dancing to Disney songs are so few.

But, I know you understand because you all are so sweet and such blessings in my life. Whether I know you in real life or only through the blogger world, thank you for loving me...even when I'm bad about staying in touch.

Hugs,
Sarah

Prologue to "Are you really real, God?" (video series)

 

"Mommy, I looooooove Jesus. And Jesus loves me. He made the grass, and the flowers, and everything in the whole wide world."

To have faith like a child. In her eyes, it really is that simple.

But, in reality, it IS that simple. So, why do we start complicating it as adults?

For me, I started questioning everything as a teenager. I started analyzing it from a scientific approach. Not to disprove. No...I wanted so desperately to believe. I wanted to get back to my childlike faith that I once had. At the time, I did not know that it was normal to have doubts. I was about 8 when I declared my belief...what happened between 8 and 15 that made me start to feel insecure in it all?

So, I suffered in silence. Searching on my own and never admitting to people that I had a lot of questions. In college, I started to realize I wasn't alone. But I was still silent about my disbelief. I think I believed that if I said it out loud, that God would stop loving me...that I would be destined to hell for having doubts. 

When I was 23, after being married to Andrew for a year, I broke down in the car one night (after a Bible Study) and admitted to him my questions. 

Today we have been married 9 years. No one has been a better example of Christ's love than this man in my life. I will never forget sitting out the back deck in the hot summer sun and crying to him and asking "what are we going to do if we never have a baby?"

"Sarah, I will always love you. Nothing could ever stop me from loving you." (I love this man. We can fight big, but boy do I love him so!!)

That is the way God feels too. Nothing could ever stop God from loving me either. And He hasn't. In fact, it is through my doubts that I have grown immensely. And nothing will shake you up more than waiting to have a baby. It was the first time in my life I had absolutely no control over the outcome.

To be continued...

Are you really real God?

Truth? The mere fact that I even had the word God in the title of this post has made 50% of the people who read this blog feel REALLY uncomfortable. 25% probably already clicked the button to stop following this blog. And dare I say the other 25% will click "stop following" if they even make it to the end.

Truth? If I say that I am Christian, you assume that I am some Pollyanna, teetotaler who sings "Amazing Grace" all day long. You think I'm one of these crazies who believes in a Fairy Tale. I mean, really, a dude gets swallowed by a whale and God has him spit back out? Really?? Crazy sounding, huh?

Truth? Maybe if I tell you that I am Christian you are reminded of someone else who told you the same and that person was one of meanest, backstabbing, judgmental persons you have ever met.

But, what if I told you that I enjoy a glass of wine with my husband. What if I told you that sometimes I just want to listen to the Top 40 countdown with Ryan Seacrest...and GASP...sometimes I even like to have wine and listen to the Top 40 on a SUNDAY!!! And what if I told you there are times when I am so frustrated and exhausted that I have been known to have filthy language roll off my tongue.

What if I told you I have slammed my Bible shut a time or two and said "there is no way all this is true!!".

What if I told you that believing in Jesus Christ hasn't been easy for me. It's been complicated, messy.

So when one of my readers asked me how I became a Believer,  I cringed. "Lord Father, PLEASE don't make me talk about it. They won't understand. If they don't believe, they will think I'm just another crazy!"

But, that's not for me to know. But, God knows why this story needs to be told. So, here I am. To tell you why I believe in Jesus Christ, how I came to believe, and how I'm still on a journey to figure it out.

To be continued...(video to follow this week)

Ella's betrothed

A couple weeks ago, one of my dearest friends flew in from Texas to meet the twins and just spend some time with us. I love my family, but I am once again reminded how good it is to have girlfriends...women who can encourage you, inspire you, and just love you right where you are at. We didn't do anything extraordinary, but it was so good for my soul to spend time with a friend. Here is a picture of Ella and my friend's son, Noah. Isn't he insanely handsome? He could quite possible be Ella's betrothed.

My goodness...way too much cuteness. Their children would be beautiful!

We also took some time to do a little fishing in the backyard. Apparently, all you need is a princess fishing rod, a spiderman fishing rod, and some stale bread to catch 3 fish in a mere 5 minutes.

Noah's first catch!!

His second was a catfish. Not too shabby for his first fishing adventure. 

Aren't the simplest of weekends the greatest when you are with friends? So blessed to have them in my life. She is always my friend to speak the truth to me in love. I tell her she is destined to be the next Beth Moore (she is in seminary right now)...and even if she isn't really, spending time with her is like reading a good Beth Moore book.

Having many small children can, ironically, leave you feeling very lonely. You are so consumed with their needs, that it is hard to make time to fill your own spiritual needs. I am so thankful for those friends who I know I don't have much to give right now...and who I know will still be there when life settles down for me...and that one day, I will in fact answer the phone.

Jacob's new trick

So, the twins are very much babies now and not newborns. They are very interested in everything around them...which means they are either crying because they notice when you leave the room now or they are laughing and smiling at anything and everything you do. This is the stage where I start to really enjoy babies. I mean, there is something special about a brand new baby, but I just really love it when they start to interact more.

So, I have been waiting for this one particular thing that I ADORE about babies: when they discover their feet and figure out how to stick them in their mouths. I just think it is so adorable. So, here is my little fella showing off his new skill:

Love him.

Belly Laughs

Definitely sure to brighten any ones day. Everything is funny to Jacob.


Untitled from Sarah Antweiler on Vimeo.